This post is definitely about my life and major lesson I learned that is, not letting my emotions control rational thought.
The Story
I'll paint a picture of what the ethos for this blog. I meet a good looking girl at an electronica/ techno show. She was cute, small yet proportionate figure (Rare choice for me, I generally like women with curve), had a smile that filled half her face, freckles with black hair. Also she was killing it in black skinny jeans, moto boots, and a leather jacket (hipster rock look.) We danced, sat and chilled where I found out that she was a pretty famous DJ for a local lite rock station in town. I went from thinking, "I'm lucky to have a hot girl digging me, to wholly shit what does she see in me." To be fare to myself I was also killing it in my ironic Terminator tee, Skinny jeans from the 70s (salvo find) and polished white Nike kicks (Thanks Mom.) After the last dj played she wanted to go back to my place. I called my roomie to pick us up. Shocked to her who I was with. We were about to leave the bar, when this guy tired to stop us from leaving claiming she was blacked out. Guessed that was her ex who was also there to be her sober ride for the night. I was slightly beyond buzzed, but knew she wasn't blackout. I stood my ground looked at him dead in the eyes and said, "She's leaving with me, bud." We then headed to back to my place and had a fun time.
Woke the next morning had good vibes felt we had made a connection, I then gave her a ride back to her apartment. I then tried to distracted myself by rocking to pandora inking out a drawing. What was running threw my head was, "Wow, this chick is so funny, has personality, cute, has a career, about the same age she's the total package, I want to date her." I had gotten a text gotten saying that she "forgot" her bra at my house. My thoughts at the time was thinking, "Well that's a funny thing to forget I know that has small boobs... Well good job RSND she wants to see you again." I then orranged a coffee date 2 days later.
We had coffee, then headed back her place.
At time I was thinking, "RSND don't fuck this up, by fucking. This well make you the rebound guy! If you really like her.. wait." We had good deep conversation really opened up. Went and discussed our friends and family life via facebook. Then MGMT came on, and well (shoulder shrug) we got it on. Afterwords we had another intimate conversation.
The next morning gave me a ride home. At about 6pm I had received a text that said this, "I cannot do this thing....sorry."
I was really taken back by this, I only sent her one very articulated text message that asked the question why, but apparently she was not mature enough to respond back. Then I started over analyzing everything about last few days. "Was I too clingly? Does think that I'm falling head over heals for her? Is it because I put out right away? I thought we made a connection, I thought she viewed more than just a "hang and bang", she must have thought that."
After few hours no text which really mad me irate, I then posted a status comment that had with a Cat Stevens Wild World link, ripped on top 40 radio and contained ironic rebound joke. The only thing I regret about posting that it that I should have used Manfred Mann's Fox on the Run. I would have then gone to bed, but I wanted to see if she was the Facebook. I found out that she defriend me. Like who does that? I then was enraged, because she must have not had made a connection. I then started to blog on Solid Tales and go into extreme detail on Saturday night. After I had planned on sending her a message on Facebook, with the link attached with a link to Beastie Boys' Oh Hey Fuck You. I DID NOT, thank God.
The Conclusion The Lessons Learned
I took some time and reflected about what a relationship is? Considered what I am looking for in a woman? I thought when I was with her that I finally found what I looking for in woman. I found a woman with personality in Fargo, who is attractive, and funny. I was blinded by emotions, did use rational thought, if did not think I would have considered these major factors. She had told me that she had just broke up with her boyfriend. (Do I don't need to constantly compared to another and need to negative vibe baggage.) We discussed music, and very artist few in common. It mainly contained popular radio, the only music that had some sort of lyricism was hip hop. (It may seem like not a big deal, but when it is your career, it definitely holds weight.) She told me that she is very distant and not close with her family. (I come from a family of love. My parents are also my friends, family very important to me.) She told me that she super committed to her job as a radio top 40 radio dj. (Which is cool and I respect her because she does have a lot of listeners. Although if did date her that would no free time during the day.)
I cannot believe that I was so foolish to fall so fast. The sliver lining in this story is that I am actually glad this situation happened to me and I glad that I met her. The reason behind this that it gave me a stronger understanding of what I looking for in my Ruca. (the one) If I plan on dating, I want it too be long term. I not the guy who is in a relationship to be in a relationship. This experience taught me do not rush to your hormones. Which I think that is apart becoming an adult, I revert back a quote that my mother said to me in my youth, "Think before you do." I never thought that would still relevant today. And last lesson learned was fish in the lake metaphor. Sometimes you go out on lake and fish for sun fish, because there easy. Sometimes you go fishing for northerns and catch a carpe. Sometimes you go out on the lake not expecting to get anything and end up with a walleye that you keep even those its too small and not ready to eat, but your hunger takes over. What is important is being able to be out on the lake enjoying a beautiful day. I plan on doing some fishing , but if its not right I'll release back for others to catch. I'll let my brain do the fishing, not my stomach. If I'm hungry there's always Zobraz!
The Story
I'll paint a picture of what the ethos for this blog. I meet a good looking girl at an electronica/ techno show. She was cute, small yet proportionate figure (Rare choice for me, I generally like women with curve), had a smile that filled half her face, freckles with black hair. Also she was killing it in black skinny jeans, moto boots, and a leather jacket (hipster rock look.) We danced, sat and chilled where I found out that she was a pretty famous DJ for a local lite rock station in town. I went from thinking, "I'm lucky to have a hot girl digging me, to wholly shit what does she see in me." To be fare to myself I was also killing it in my ironic Terminator tee, Skinny jeans from the 70s (salvo find) and polished white Nike kicks (Thanks Mom.) After the last dj played she wanted to go back to my place. I called my roomie to pick us up. Shocked to her who I was with. We were about to leave the bar, when this guy tired to stop us from leaving claiming she was blacked out. Guessed that was her ex who was also there to be her sober ride for the night. I was slightly beyond buzzed, but knew she wasn't blackout. I stood my ground looked at him dead in the eyes and said, "She's leaving with me, bud." We then headed to back to my place and had a fun time.
Woke the next morning had good vibes felt we had made a connection, I then gave her a ride back to her apartment. I then tried to distracted myself by rocking to pandora inking out a drawing. What was running threw my head was, "Wow, this chick is so funny, has personality, cute, has a career, about the same age she's the total package, I want to date her." I had gotten a text gotten saying that she "forgot" her bra at my house. My thoughts at the time was thinking, "Well that's a funny thing to forget I know that has small boobs... Well good job RSND she wants to see you again." I then orranged a coffee date 2 days later.
We had coffee, then headed back her place.
At time I was thinking, "RSND don't fuck this up, by fucking. This well make you the rebound guy! If you really like her.. wait." We had good deep conversation really opened up. Went and discussed our friends and family life via facebook. Then MGMT came on, and well (shoulder shrug) we got it on. Afterwords we had another intimate conversation.
The next morning gave me a ride home. At about 6pm I had received a text that said this, "I cannot do this thing....sorry."
I was really taken back by this, I only sent her one very articulated text message that asked the question why, but apparently she was not mature enough to respond back. Then I started over analyzing everything about last few days. "Was I too clingly? Does think that I'm falling head over heals for her? Is it because I put out right away? I thought we made a connection, I thought she viewed more than just a "hang and bang", she must have thought that."
After few hours no text which really mad me irate, I then posted a status comment that had with a Cat Stevens Wild World link, ripped on top 40 radio and contained ironic rebound joke. The only thing I regret about posting that it that I should have used Manfred Mann's Fox on the Run. I would have then gone to bed, but I wanted to see if she was the Facebook. I found out that she defriend me. Like who does that? I then was enraged, because she must have not had made a connection. I then started to blog on Solid Tales and go into extreme detail on Saturday night. After I had planned on sending her a message on Facebook, with the link attached with a link to Beastie Boys' Oh Hey Fuck You. I DID NOT, thank God.
The Conclusion The Lessons Learned
I took some time and reflected about what a relationship is? Considered what I am looking for in a woman? I thought when I was with her that I finally found what I looking for in woman. I found a woman with personality in Fargo, who is attractive, and funny. I was blinded by emotions, did use rational thought, if did not think I would have considered these major factors. She had told me that she had just broke up with her boyfriend. (Do I don't need to constantly compared to another and need to negative vibe baggage.) We discussed music, and very artist few in common. It mainly contained popular radio, the only music that had some sort of lyricism was hip hop. (It may seem like not a big deal, but when it is your career, it definitely holds weight.) She told me that she is very distant and not close with her family. (I come from a family of love. My parents are also my friends, family very important to me.) She told me that she super committed to her job as a radio top 40 radio dj. (Which is cool and I respect her because she does have a lot of listeners. Although if did date her that would no free time during the day.)
I cannot believe that I was so foolish to fall so fast. The sliver lining in this story is that I am actually glad this situation happened to me and I glad that I met her. The reason behind this that it gave me a stronger understanding of what I looking for in my Ruca. (the one) If I plan on dating, I want it too be long term. I not the guy who is in a relationship to be in a relationship. This experience taught me do not rush to your hormones. Which I think that is apart becoming an adult, I revert back a quote that my mother said to me in my youth, "Think before you do." I never thought that would still relevant today. And last lesson learned was fish in the lake metaphor. Sometimes you go out on lake and fish for sun fish, because there easy. Sometimes you go fishing for northerns and catch a carpe. Sometimes you go out on the lake not expecting to get anything and end up with a walleye that you keep even those its too small and not ready to eat, but your hunger takes over. What is important is being able to be out on the lake enjoying a beautiful day. I plan on doing some fishing , but if its not right I'll release back for others to catch. I'll let my brain do the fishing, not my stomach. If I'm hungry there's always Zobraz!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUpO2VKYqqA
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